School Lunch
by The-Reject-Crayon
Summary: Attempting to get Road and Jasdevi to school on time, Tyki is pulled over by a cop. In the aftermath, he seems to have a nice surprise for the three kids... Oneshot, no pairings.


XD A little oneshot. Not much to say about this. Hope you like it.

**Disclaimer**: Do not own DGM. Except that officer is a real guy who pulled my mom and me over about a month ago. --

* * *

"Drive faster, Tyki!"

"I'm already driving as fast as I can!"

"No, you're not!"

"If I go any faster, I'll be speeding!"

"Then speed, hii!"

"Ugh!" Tyki pressed his foot down harder on the petal, making the car go faster. This is what happened when Jasdevi and Road slept in; they pressured him to get them to school on time. Which always resulted in yelling, cussing, fighting, and other things.

Road sat up in the passenger seat, her own special privilege, while Jasdevi had to sit in the back. Road had her backpack on her lap, and an open notebook on top of that, and was scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper. She turned to the driving man.

"Tyki, do this problem for me!" she whined, holding out her pencil. Tyki snorted, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Can't you see I'm driving? I can't do your homework while I drive. I'll get us into an accident." he said.

"Then get into an accident! My homework is more important!" the girl whined, kicking her feet out as she flailed around in her seat.

Tyki rolled his eyes. "If I get us into an accident, then you'll be late for school. Which is more important? Homework, or being on time?"

Road continued to whine, but she turned back to her homework, staring at it with hatred.

Devit laughed from the back. "Oi, Road, maybe if you stare at it long enough, it'll solve itself?"

Road turned around and stuck her tongue out at the teen as he and his brother laughed, their guns aimed at each other. They, of course, never did their homework.

Something caught Jasdero's attention.

"Huh? What's that, hii?" he asked, pointing to the rear view mirror. Blue and red lights were flashing from behind them. Tyki glanced in the mirror, and swore loudly.

"Aw, dammit…"

He pulled over to the side of the road, and the cop pulled up behind him.

"Look what you've done now, Tyki!"

"Now we'll be even later to school, hii!"

"You guys are the ones who wanted me to drive faster!" Tyki hissed back. Stupid kids. Now _he_ was going to get a ticket because of them.

There was a knock on his window, and Tyki quickly glanced over to see a man in a police uniform standing there, looking quite smug. Tyki groaned, and rolled down the window.

The man smiled, and it wasn't in a reassuring way; he seemed positively pleased to have already caught someone so early in the morning.

"May I see your driver's license?" the man asked, holding his hand out expectantly. Tyki blinked, then started to rummage in his pockets for the ridiculously small card. He pulled it out, and handed it to the officer.

"Hmm…" he looked at it for a minute, then handed it back to the Noah. "Are you aware that you were speeding?"

Ugh. What a stupid question to ask. If by now he hadn't realized that he had been pulled over for speeding, then that would make him dumber than the twins. And that was saying something.

Road's whiny voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Tyki, I need to get to school! Hurry up!"

The officer finally took a look at the three kids in the car, and turned to Road.

"It's because your father was speeding that he has to do this. Be patient." he said, trying to be nice. Tyki rolled his eyes.

But Road wrinkled her nose, making a face. "Tyki isn't my dad, silly human!" she said.

Jasdevi were snickering in the back, but the officer looked confused for a moment, and then turned back to Tyki and looked him over. Probably noting that he looked too young to have kids this old.

"Are you these kids legal guardian?" he asked. Tyki snorted.

"If you're asking if I kidnapped them, then no. I'm her uncle." He said, nodding his head towards Road, who smiled happily.

"And the other-"

"Help us officer!" Devit suddenly screamed, barely suppressing a grin.

"Yeah! This old, ugly man is kidnapping us, hii!" Jasdero yelled, flailing his arms around a bit.

Tyki turned back to them, furious. "_Old? Ugly?_"

"Sir, what is your relation to these two boys?"

Tyki groaned. "Look, they live with me."

"Are they relatives?"

"HA. As if I'd be related to anyone as stupid as them." He said, turning to smirk back at the now outraged twins.

"We'll kill you!" Devit shouted, pointing his gun in Tyki's face while Jasdero did the same.

"Kill, kill, hihi!" Jasdero shouted waving around his gun a bit.

The officer's eyes widened a bit. Oh, what a priceless face.

"You boys are underage and should not be carrying around such weapons. I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate those." He said nervously, suddenly very unhappy about pulling over this group of freaks.

Jasdevi rounded their anger on him, moving the gunpoint away from the smirking Tyki and to the now terrified officer.

"Yeah right, fatass! These are _ours_. Go stuff yourself with donuts or something!"

"Hihi, looks like he already has been!" Jasdero giggled.

"Boys, hand over the guns." the officer said, more serious now. His hands moved to his belt where his own gun was.

"Say 'please'!" Both guns clicked as the safety latches were pulled back.

"This is the last warning!"

"Jasdevi, cut it out!" Tyki suddenly yelled, reaching back to smack them both. Their arms dropped as they swore and rubbed their heads.

"What was that for, Tyki?!"

"Tyki's is so mean, hii!"

Tyki turned back to the startled officer. "I'm sorry for their stupidity and their obsession with toys. Can we just get this over with?"

The man nodded, glancing back at the twins before pulling something out of his pocket and handing it to the Noah. A long sheet of paper stating the 'crime'.

"You're charged for speeding, and you'll have to meet in court in a few weeks, where you may plead 'not guilty' or 'guilty', plus a fee will be added-"

"Woah, stop. That's a lot. All this just for speeding?" Tyki asked, disbelieving.

"Yes."

Tyki looked over at Road, then back at the twins.

"You guys didn't see anything, right?" he asked.

A sadistic grin stuck itself on Road's face. "Nope!"

"Jasdevi?"

They were both laughing. "Not a thing." They said at the same time.

"Hey, what are you-" the officer started, but then Tyki's hand shot out of the car and into his chest.

"What the hell?!" he screamed before Tyki easily pulled his heart out. He glanced down at the red blob, and grimaced.

"Well, let's get you three to school." He said, putting the thing aside. "See you later Officer…" he glanced at the paper he had been given, searching until he found the name, "See you later, Officer Rine." He laughed, and quickly drove off.

Two minutes later, they were in front of the school, which was just about to start.

Road jumped out of the car. "I'll be late!" she said frantically, grabbing backpack as Jasdevi jumped out of the back.

Tyki grinned, and handed the three a brown paper bag. "Here's your lunch." he said, hoping they hadn't noticed the absence of the heart.

Road squealed happily, and kissed Tyki on the cheek. "Thanks for driving us, Tyki! That was fun! We have to do it again!"

Tyki frowned. "No thanks. You can take the bus from now on."

"Bye, vagabond!" Devit said, grinning as he and his brother ran in the building just as the bell rung. Road followed quickly, carrying the bag Tyki had given them.

Tyki drove away laughing his head off.

"So, what do you think he got us?" Road asked, excited as the three sat down for lunch. Jasdevi just shrugged, staring at the bag.

"It'd better be good." Devit said, warily poking the bag. It felt… squishy.

"Dero is starving, hihi! Hurry and open it!"

Road nodded, and opened it a bit, peeking in through the top…

"AGH!" she screamed, dropping the bag and pushing it away from her. "TYKI!"

"What? What?" Jasdevi asked quickly, grabbing the bag and looking in.

"UGH! That's so nasty!" Devit yelled, his reaction the same as Road's.

Jasdero hung on, tilting his head to the side.

"Tyki wants us to eat heart, hii?" he asked, and reached in the bag to pull out the red lump. Road screamed and covered her eyes while Devit started freaking out.

"Don't pick it up, idiot!" he yelled, smacking Jasdero's hand so the heart went flying. They watched as time seemed to distort, and the heart flew through the air in slow motion in a perfect arc… eventually landing right on the tray of a female student.

Everything was silent as the girl stared at it, then all hell broke loose as she and her friends started screaming bloody murder. Jasdevi and Road watched as chaos followed; students running around like chickens with their heads cut off, screaming and yelling, teachers running around in circles not knowing what to do, and the cafeteria quickly becoming empty except for the three Noah.

There was a long silence…

Devit grinned evilly. "I'm asking Tyki to get me another one of those for tomorrow."


End file.
